Bringing up an adolescent can test the patience of even the most collected parents. In one instant, you hold a priceless infant in your arms, and in the next, you encounter a teenager who withdraws from your company.
This was the situation that faced a committed parent who was not going to allow her son’s humiliation stop her.
She looked to social media for comfort and direction, asking for suggestions on how to approach this complex problem head-on.
Here’s the story
About two years ago, my fourteen-year-old kid began to feel ashamed of me and my spouse. Although we assumed this would pass, things have gotten worse.
The way he handles us, you’d think we’re weirdos even though we’re just average people. He tells us things such as, “Don’t come to my games,” “don’t leave me right out front,” or “I’ll go ahead at the mall, so people don’t think we come together.” The list is endless.
He’s fine when we give in to his demands or buy him something, but as of late, he’s been acting like trash toward us.
He made me wait for him a block away when I drove 40 minutes to get him up from a school function a few days ago. He went red and stopped when he spotted me and that there were other children nearby.
After waiting for the children to pass, he slid down into the car and instructed the driver to go. I’ve let him know how we feel about it all, but he doesn’t seem to mind. I’m done now, though.
I shoved his head down and screamed, “Duck!” while I drove to the store that night because he needed a new t-shirt for an event. I didn’t want him to see us together, so I told him that I believed the driver to be a college acquaintance. I told him I felt ashamed when he asked why.
I jumped out of the car and rushed to the door when we got to the store. I advised my kid to keep a few feet behind me in case I ran into someone I knew at the store when he caught up to me. He was aware of my actions.
When I asked him afterwards how it felt to be treated like an embarrassment, he replied, “Not good.”
We picked up a bus pass for him at the transit office the following morning. I informed him that I would no longer be seeing him in a car and that he would now have to ride the bus.
I said out loud how much I hated having to accompany him into the office and that I was more worried about the clerk’s opinion of me than about how I made him feel. Then I asked him to remain silent and stand by the door. It seems like he’s understanding, but I’m not sure.
My sister became enraged when I informed her about this. She believes that I should realize that he will grow out of this period. However, I feel like I’ve given him almost two years, and I’m sick of this phase since it’s become a deep-rooted habit.
What are your thoughts, guys?
Undoubtedly, managing an adolescent’s wrath might pose certain difficulties. But it’s important to keep in mind that you are rarely the source of their annoyances.
The humiliation of your child has nothing to do with your quirkiness or perceived “weirdness.”
The adolescent stage involves a normal process of disengagement, during which apathy toward many things, including parents, frequently manifests. Such emotional fluctuations are common and ought to be treated with compassion.
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